Loneliness is a sad Feeling

Sometimes I think about how it would feel if I knew no one. I wonder how would it be like if I were to live that way?  Well this morning I felt so lonely that I wanted to cry.  This may sound super emo but I am trying to take it in as an experience that will make me stronger.

This is my third time moving up to Austin and each time it is something new that has to get the most of me.  I can recall the first time I moved here I was about 20 years old. I knew no one but I had my cousin and her husband as family support here. They took good care of me, I cannot complain.  Then the second time I moved up I lived alone and had no problems but getting used to the difference of people and their character and demeanor is what got to me. I could not understand how people could be so cold without knowing me.  My friends know me as a cheerful, talkative and very outspoken person that I could not understand why some people I encountered were just plain rude.  I started to think maybe it had to do with their upbringing, or maybe it was me.  I literally was so pensive about this that I decided to take control of the situation. I just let me be me. If they did not like me it was their problem not mine. So, I got passed that year.

But, now I find myself in a rather different situation.  Lately Lola, my car, has been giving me problems. She had a sensor that needed to be replaced and then she was good for a while until yesterday. As I was driving home, she warned me again that she may be sick. So, I took her in to the doctor, car repair shop, and they are trying to figure out what is wrong. That is gonna cost me some good earned money! I think that is the most depressing part for me. I feel like I am sacrificing my MAC make-up and Gianni Bini heels, for car repairs....but I chose Lola because she take me everywhere and without her, I am lonely. I think that is why I feel so sad.  I am used to being with her, enjoying our random drives to meet with friends or to take a scenic route home. I think I am missing her and being away from her is what is killing me. I know I may sound crazy but I love my car. Its just a little Chrysler PT Cruiser but she does the job for me.

Other than Lola, I miss my parents. I am not even sure if it is them that I miss or the fact that I don't got anyone to rely on here. I mean I do got friends but they got their lives to worry about.  The last thing I would want to do is inconvenience anyone. When it comes to my stuff, I am used to taking control of the situation because if anything goes wrong I am the only one to blame.  But then again, it always is good to have friends I can count on.  Iris and Maribel, you girls were always their for me when I needed a ride to the car shop or anywhere back home in good ole Edinburg Texas. You guys didn't ask any questions, you just wanted to help me out in anyway till I got what I needed.   For that I thank you, I am blessed that God has put you two in my life. I also acknowledge that I can be a pain in the ass but you guys love me and see beyond that.  That is what makes you guys even more awesome!

Now, I am at work working on legislation and hoping to get through the rest of the day.

Tootles.

Morning Sunshines

Woke up this morning....not necessarily rested because my back was killing me. I felt like I was not gonna be able to get out of my bed.

Last night, I enjoyed some quality time at DK Sushi Bar. I tasted the Volcano and Jalapeno roll! Oh my, SO delicious.  Plus, I felt like I was not eating to much, I mean sushi is healthy right?

This is the VOLCANO ROLL :)

JALAPENO ROLL - "YUM-O"

This was too pretty of pic not to post

So, got home and head to bed early. I felt super exhausted for some reason. I think I may have to do a walk every morning and stretch my back more.  But, this morning I felt good. I have taken a different route to work that beats the traffic and I enjoy the scenery.

I get to work, start reading up on news on my media outlets till I got distracted by a UT gunmen breaking news on twitter and LIVE News by KEYE.  I felt so worried for Felicia an intern in the office. I felt like crying for some reason. I felt relieved when she messaged me that she was okay. Thank goodness.

I have to say the response by UT-PD, APD, DPS was amazing. They are still doing some sweeping on campus but for now I have been alerted by our capitol DPS that UT is on lock down and we should avoid travel near the area.

My day will be filled with news updates from back home, Austin and researching legislation. Tonight, I should start writing my chapter three and I will be officially done!

Till next time. Tootles.

I feel like I got the Early Bird special!

Good morning!  I woke up today like I had over slept. I said my morning prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference." This prayer helps me get through the morning and through the rest of the day.

My car had broken down and I was not quite sure how I was gonna get it fixed when miraculously the car turned on Sunday evening.  I was relieved because now I can drive it to a shop.  I got all dressed and ready for work with enough time to stop and get the car checked. I was referred to Leonard's Muffler Shop on South First and St. Elmo! They really put a smile on my face. All my anxieties and worries were gone! I could not help it but to do a review on it.  Aside from waiting, when waiting at shops can be so boring and manly, well let me tell you. They had this really nice coffee machine that I gladly entertained myself with! Plus they had really good creamers.

Alright, I may sound like such a girl but lets just say I am a girl who knows a good deal when she gets one. Being away from home and my personal mechanic I found a shop that will def take care of me. I mean, a single woman that is independent, I feel like I found heaven. But, I think if I had a man this situation would have been less stressful...I think.

Anyhow, I am working on research in the office. I feel like it may be a long day but I sure hope it goes by fast. I am getting into the grove of things and I really want to meet new friends. So, this afternoon I am hitting up a sushi karaoke place with my girlfriend Sabrina and friends. I was told it gets fun there so I am looking forward to it.

Alright, till the next time. Tootles.

This Game Called Life Is So Serious

Waking up early everyday is becoming a pattern for me. Granted, I am used to waking up thirty minutes before I actually have to head out of the house. But, now I am trying to change that pattern. Lately my alarm has been set at 5:30am and I tend to get out of bed by 7:15am. Reading that sentence makes me want to be a wee bit more responsible.  Also, I am trying to go to bed early so that I don't have such a problem when I wake up.  Alright, like I was saying, I woke up and departed to Jack Allen's Kitchen with my friend Sabrina. I am so glad she invited me because I had been neglecting myself of any social interaction.  If you know me, that is so not normal for me. So Sabrina picked me and we had a nice chat on the way. It feels so heart warming when I can hang out with good friends and especially those who come from the same town as I do, well the Rio Grande Valley.

Brunch at Jack Allen's Kitchen was too good to be true. I mean I arrived starving! Well, not literally.  I enjoyed good company and meeting someone new, Kelly. She is the Executive Manager for Yelp.com. Lets just say I was really impressed and since cooking and eating food is my other hobby other than keeping up with politics, I decided to get more involved about Yelp.com...I have officially done my first review. That was so fun and interesting.

I am not sure if I have mentioned this but I now reside in Austin Texas. I have been here for two weeks now and lets just say I need to make some improvements in my life. I need to create a better circle of friends, for example, surround myself around those who enjoy talking politics and social issues and especially with those who enjoy dancing and having random fun adventures.  My goal is to be spontaneous and spend the least amount of money possible...I think I can do this.

The whole reason for my relocation was my job promotion. I got promoted to Capitol Chief of Staff for State Representative Aaron Pena, District 40 of the Texas House of Representatives.  I must say that even though I am going on 7 years with him, this new transition has me on my toes. I always strive to be the best and I feel like I am at the point where I can apply everything I have learned through my education, life and institutional experience to make a difference.  I may look young but rest assured I mean business.

So, as I reflect on the past two weeks, all I know is that I am a cheerful person blessed to have good friends that understand me and help me.  It has been a little rocky for me but I am behind the wheel of my life. I am taking charge and like my big brother says, never surrender.

Getting Back into the Grove of Things

Yesterday I had a fantastic day!  I mean, I had my coffee...I worked...and then I had some good company for a night out of randomness.  I must say I enjoy things when they are spare of the moment...but if they are weddings or something more special then yeah that deserves a lot of attention.

I originally had planned to attend the Texas Democratic Party State Convention but in the end I had to pass. I wanted to do some many things but I just couldn't.  I really don't like to hear no or say no but I had to say no to myself.  On a good note, I attended the first Drainage Advisory Committee meeting at the ITT building this morning. It ran a little after one but its all good. I learned a lot by all those who were present but more importantly I realized that I had to do a lot more reading.

I have been keeping a peaceful mind lately and believe it or not it has helped me stay focused. Having some Mari-time other than work is always good for the soul. Lets just say I am content and really looking forward to my new life adventures and new beginnings.

Alright friends as for now I got no new updates other than that I gotta go run today and put in some exercises!


Peace and Love, MDL

Its Been A While

Alright so its been about three months since I last posted something. I had a lot on my plate and I actually still do.  But, I realized if I am gonna make this blog relationship work I gotta work at it.  So here I am.

I got good news. I have finished my masters coursework! Finally :) Now I gotta finish up my thesis that is due before the end of this month so that I may graduate for sure in August.

Aside from that I have been dealt with a pretty ugly stack of cards.  I cannot trust men...but after watching "When in Rome" with my lovely cousins and Moses, I have some hope. I guess I gotta find a man that I love more than work. I think that is when I will be serious and committed to someone other than myself. But for now, I am single as a bee.

Also, I am documenting my health plan once again. A year has passed since I last started and I am getting back into the grove of things. Going to the gym and watching my meals have made more happy than I already am.

I am excited about moving back to Austin in September. I am determined to keep doing good and hopefully landing an awesome job...I mean a second job. I just got too much time on my hands.  I am so determined to get my career on its feet and running. My goal of making a minimum of $100k is in reach. My estimate is within the next two years, hopefully by the time I am 30....I am calling that "Mari's Peak." At that point I will and should be ready for anything that comes my way.

Alright, this ten minute break has done me good and now I got 50 minutes for lunch.

Have a Super Duper Awesome Day Everyone!

Peace and Love, MDL

Pink Braces Do Make a Statement---Mari statement that is.

I have been MIA for the past month and a half.  I must say I have been a little overwhelmed with school and family responsibilities.  But, through trust in the Lord I have surpassed an obstacle in my life. 

This past month I got a denial letter to the White House Fellow Program.  It really didn't hit me hard at first but as the day came to the end I started feeling a sense of failure. Yes, FAILURE, started bringing me down.  I prayed that I would be considered since I had a lot of support and was considered to apply.  I was really hurt.  I was even tempted to write to the program but I had to accept that it was just not meant to be. There is another plan out there for me. I am still wondering what is out there for me.

I have friends that kept reassuring me there was nothing wrong with me but they sure did make a bad decision not picking me.  That really made me feel happy.  Other than that, I kept moving forward.

Since my boss got an appointment to chair a select committee I knew that information was going to be key.  I have been trying to keep up with all there is to know about emergency preparedness and then Lord and behold the issure of border security and spillover is a state and national issue. 

I live in deep South Texas. I love it here. Its small. No heavy rush hour, but we do have problems with drug smuggling and violence.  Am I scared? Not really...I have lived here all my life. Outsiders reading on the area...yeah they are probably afraid but why if they don't live here. Do we have a problem? Yes we do. But what will the government do to protect the safety of the people in the are while not impacting the commerce these border cities recieve due in part to trade with Mexico?  I think about this all the time. I wake up and when I drive to work, I see a beautiful new day each day.  This topic is of great interest to me I just gotta keep up with it.

Another topic of interest is Redistricting.  It is here in Texas.  I just attended an NCSL Redistricting Law Conference for the weekend.  It was so much information but I feel like I am gonna get this. 

Aside from work I have had the pleasure of spending time with my great friend Genevee. She opens her home to me when I have to come to the Austin area for work.  We had a good day at Zilker park playing volleyball and a nice dinner afterwards. 

I also, miss my Chloe. I have not been apart from her for this long so I just hope I am greeted with lots of love when I get back.

Aside from my stay here, I have noticed that people like my braces. I believe this is funny. So funny that its time for them to be removed next month.  I just hope they like my smile after they are removed.

Peace and Love.

If at first you don't succeed try, try again!

On Wednesday and Thursday I attended two Tech Prep events for work. On Wednesday night I made a drive out to TSTC Cultural Arts Center in Harlingen, Texas. It's about a 40 minute drive from Edcouch. I arrived and was well greeted. I must say I had never been welcomed in that fashion before at a district event. Shortly after my sign in I bumped into some Veterans that I had met last year. But, new to my networking list is Ron Tupper. He is a great man. He actually accompanied me to my table and made small talk with me. He is also a funny man. Well, shortly after the reception began when they were getting to announce the guest speaker I was like who is Tony Hill? Well, if I was a super duper Cowboys fan like my very good friend Iris I would have known better.

He spoke about the importance of trying hard to achieve success, because without trying you will not experience it. He talked a little more about the importance of an education and how much he loves his kids. As I snuck out of the reception, I bumped into Tony as he was leaving as well. We had a nice conversation as we walked to the parking lot. I had told him that I appreciated his little speech and that was exactly what I needed to hear at the perfect time. After we talked a little further he said I sounded like a well grounded women and that men can see "quality." When he asked if I had a boyfriend, I was rather shy to answer but I had to say no. He was even surprised as I was. He told me that the day will come when a man will see all the quality in me and at that point he will grab on to me and lever let go. I think he hit it right on the nail. Hearing him say that was like hearing my father say that to me, which probably would never happen because my dad is not a "mushy mushy" man as he would call it. But Tony's sincerety made me appreciate him as a person. I am sure glad we were able to cross paths.

I drove home with a smile on my face like you not imagine. I let the course of love in my life in the hands of the most important being in my life, Jesus my Lord and Savior. The next day, I prepared for the luncheon which was just as great as the reception. I got an autograph for Iris and we shared one last picture moment before he departed back home.

You will hear me occasionally talk about love, maybe men, my family, and work. I just got to learn to stop talking about work but it's just that there is never a dull moment.

Alright, I can't seem to have anything else to share but I am supposed to go on a "movie date" tonight and see Valentine's Day. I sure hope he doesn't cancel.

Peace and Love!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Lets talk about my day yesterday. I have pretty much the same routine. Wake up, shower, dress up, feed Chloe, drive to work, work. But in between during my lunch I take my mother to her doctors visit. Then shortly after that I got classes. Sitting in the doctors office with my mother was an experience for me. I had never been with her at one of her visits only when she gets so ill that she is hospitalized.

My parents are always going to the doctor. I hear the stories about their visits when I get home from work, school or a late dinner with friends. My parents never tell me or my sister, who still live at home, their conditions. They don't want us to worry about them. I know my parents are both diabetic, one has high blood pressure and the other has heart problems. My mother may also be in the beginning stages of uterine cancer. Hearing the doctor tell my mom her results of an exam were normal, I was happy. I had to reaffirm my mother that she is fine, although she does experience pain on her left side.

I love my parents so much. Since, my dad has been in east coast with my older brother I find that I have a strong will and passion for keeping up with all the responsibilities that surround me. My father raised me, unlike my sister, to depend on no one but myself. If I wanted to get something done, I needed to do it. I believe that by him instilling that in me I have become a very independent woman. But who is to say that I wouldn't like someone to do something for me sometimes. I bet that will feel good. But considering this unexpected change in my responsibilities at home, I made a decision to not concentrate on my thesis this semester. That means I will graduate in the summer and if not, in the fall. I am actually fine with that because I will finish it this year and I am in no rush. I want to make sure it is my perfect masterpiece that I can show off like all those famous artists out there. Plus, that is another goal off my to do list!

I was so exhausted yesterday that I just felt like quiting. Thoughts of why education is so important, why having a great job is so important, why being the marvelous person that I am even matter just kept running through my mind. But, I had to give myself words of affirmation like "You are great!" "You are marvelous" "You are a powerful young Latina woman with so much to offer!" it was then that I felt better.

Being a daughter is very hard and it doesn't help that I am also the baby with very high ambitions. All I can say is that I am glad my parents disciplined me, always instilled in me the importance of an education, affirming to me that I am a great girl that will make someone happy one day.

So this morning when I woke up my mirror said to me "You are SO beautiful." I love my sense of humor that I can make myself laugh!

Peace and Love.

"Are we better off today than we were four years ago?"

This morning seemed to take a different direction for me. I have to tend to "daddy's" duties with my mom like doctor appointments and at the same time deal with work. I have an unimaginable schedule for some of my friends that don't know me well but for those who do its nothing new. I always get everything out of the way for work, grad school, house responsibilities, and yet have a life. This has been by far the most happy-sad experience I had to deal with ever but I am glad that I have a strong foundation to keep going and growing as a person.

I was flipping through a book of political satires and found the title of this blog. I can remember vaguely four years ago. I was 23 years old, a senior in college getting ready to finish up school. The economy must not have been that good since I had to manage three jobs and school. None the less, I got through it. What else can I recall....hmmm not much. Oh yeah, I had recently ended a long term relationship of 8 years! That is when I was like I gotta be an independent woman and depend on myself so that when I do meet a new prospect, we will compliment each other as opposed to supplementing each other.

So four years later, I have a BBS in Finance and a soon MPA degree in a couple of months. An independent woman I am. I can change my own oil to my truck and car, if I really want to get dirty. I can purchase my own tires and negotiate deals. I can shop for trailers on behalf of my dad and not let them take advantage of me. I can go get a hair cut whenever I want, and nails too. I can just get in my car and drive to Austin to see friends. I just do what I want. The economy though is not that good so that is why I spend cautiously. I actually got a budget that I live with, its just the smart way to spend. That is why I was able to buy a new puppy, a Field Spaniel. Her name is Chloe. Four years ago I probably could not even afford a dog. Having a puppy is a lot of responsibility. Its like she is my baby. She cries for me when I am gone and wants all my attention when I am home. I love her so much. Its like she came into my life at the perfect time.

Now, since V-Day is coming up I am just waiting to see if any magic will come my way. I must say its been that long since I have had roses delivered to my work, had a romantic dinner, or any loving surprises. But, I am fine with it. My first year single, I recieved nothing which was fine (I didn't know how bad it was to be single...on a funny note), second year my dad was in the hospital and my brother took me and my bff out and made us feel like princesses, third year a friend of mine just bought me the whole V-Day gifts just to bring my spirits ups (a total surprise may I add), and the fourth year my girlfriends and I dined out at Texas Land & Cattle in Austin for a fabulous weekend in Austin (they came up to see me). So, I guess I have been ok.

I am just curious about how this week will end. I really don't ask for much. I am satisfied with the most simple things anyone can recieve. I happy and thankful for the friendships I have. So, a surpise would just be the cherry on top of my icecream sundae. Atleast, the ticket guy at the movie theatre gave me a coupon to use at my next visit for this week. Its funny, I just hope I get to use it and if I don't receive anything well atleast I got a discount coupon....very funny.

I have nothing else on my calendar that needs immediate attention. But work will continue. Lunch is here and I need to get some food in this little stomache of mine.

Peace and Love.

Life on a Thursday in the RGV

Here I am again. I woke up this morning rather restless. I don't understand why if I fell asleep rather early but I was really looking forward to watching White Collar. I guess I missed it.

When I arrived home last night after a class on Political Leadership my mind began to take a course of its own. I sank in a deep thought of where I was leading my life. Many people, I am sure, always think of what their purpose is in this life. I know I sure do. I reflect at times on whether I should have done things differently or should I have stayed home on a Friday night.

What I was able to understand is that we are in the front seat of our lives and it is up to us to take control of it. I don't want my life to be just about fun and parties, I don't want my life to be just of work and responsibility, I don't want my life to be just about family. I would like my life to be the combination of all the things that make me happy. For example, I love my friends company when we hang out at a local bar, or friends house. I love to be with my family on the weekends. I love my work during the week. But, why is it that we do more of one than the other.

If I had to describe myself I would say that I am a very determined woman. I am not sure whether my sign has anything to do with it, but I am a Scorpio. For some reason, I am very dedicated to my job, my family, my friends, and a special someone. I dedicate myself because that is just me. I have a calendar book that I carry with me everywhere and if I have an open spot I will fill it for an invite to a birthday party or so.

So where am I getting at? Hmmm, well I am just happy for where I am at at this moment in time. This Thursday is going to be good. We got a meeting at 11am, then I got a meeting at the Hidalgo County Courthouse regarding Child Protective Services after lunch and then I got paperwork and calendar events to watch out for.

I feel as though I am missing something in my life. Maybe not so much something but someone. I have this idea that if we have a wonderful life, why not make it better by sharing it with a special someone. I hope I am not too mushy but this is my way of thinking. A little bit of love in one's life shouldn't hurt.

Alright, thanks to a good friend and colleague, Shaine Mata, who encouraged me to stay active on my blog. This is my start to a new beginning for me.

Peace and Love, Mari

RGV Vets March For A Purpose

This weekend members of the Iraq and Afghanistan of the Rio Grande Valley started their march to the Audey Murphy VA Hospital in San Antonio Texas.

Although, I was initially planning on attending this Saturday, I did not make it. I had one of my wisdom teeth extracted and my braces tightened. So, I was in some pain like never before. I actually took some meds to help me out through the night. They sure did the job but slept through the Saturday morning.

As I was driving back to Austin on Sunday, I saw the Vets arriving to Falfurrias. Among those present was my good friend Shaine Mata. I give him props because I was gonna start the walk with him, but could not. If my boss lets me, I plan on walking on Thursday onto Friday! That will sure be fun.

I have been around listening to the need of a Veteran's Hospital in the RGV for quite some time. I have small talk with my dad who is a Vietnam Vet. He tells me a hospital in the RGV is long over due but, if does come in the near future, he hopes that is staffed with quality professionals as the San Antonio Audey Murphy Hospital is.

I would have to agree with my father on this. Veterans have given up so much of themselves in the plight for freedom of not just the Unites States but for other countries as well. They deserve the best medical attention for the unique medical conditions they have. Now don't get me wrong, the hospitals the RGV are of standard care, but the care for Veterans should not just be standard, it should be above the standard. You may agree to disagree on this one.

Until then, I will depart