Last year was the hardest year for me. I was literally going through a transitional phase professionally but also was dealing with the death of my Grandfather. Bereavement...what is that? I think its a fancy word. But I don't think I have gotten through the phase. You see, I miss my grandfather dearly. Its been rather challenging having to visit my grandmother. Yes, it is that difficult. You see, I can see she misses him so much. I can see the love she had for him. Real Love. Love that at times I feel as though I will never experience. My grandparents married each other and were inseparable after. So, again its tough knowing that I was close to love through my grandparents and not seeing it anymore breaks my heart seeing my grandmother.
Some wise words my Grandpa Lucas said to me before he passed was "Sweetheart, its better to be alone than to be accompanied by someone who doesn't deserve your companionship." This will forever resonate with me. He shared with me many more things but I am going to keep them to myself. That is all I have of him. Oh yes, he did tell me to always strive for what I want in my life. To never give up. He was a strong man and to hear him encourage me with such few words are meaningful to me.
Love. Once you have had it you know the feeling when its gone. Today, I found myself wondering on whether my grandparents love exists in our day and age. I am optimistic that it still does. I am going to continue to be patient.
I guess, I am missing family. I will end on that note.